Sobriety - living the dry life

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Let me first start this off by saying that whether you decide to consume alcohol or not, that is a personal decision that you have made based on what you feel is best for you, HARD STOP! No judgement either way from me, this post is simply my journey of figuring out its role in my own life.

If you're anything like me and you've previously thought about not drinking alcohol anymore you've probably thought, "I won't be able to have fun anymore, I won't enjoy myself out with friends anymore, what do I say when someone asks me why I'm not drinking, etc." Sound familiar? I had thought about not drinking for a long time before I finally committed. Like many others, during COVID my intake increased. I was also experiencing severe postpartum depression and anxiety and was using it as a coping mechanism until I sought professional mental health support. I will admit that I totally bought into the mommy wine culture and would often find myself stressed out and exasperated by my kids or work or whatever and say to myself, "I need a drink!" and then satisfy that demand by getting myself one. That cycle continued for a long time, but the reality is, there will never NOT be a time that isn't stressful in some way or another, that's just life, and I was living it partially sedated. I began to realize this and to recognize that my day-after-drinking-anxiety was NO JOKE and way worse than my regular anxiety. My temper and fuse with the kids was way shorter, my sleep was worse, I was nastier and less happy in general.

So, I began exploring and reading some sober lit, one of my favorites is Holly Whitaker's Quit Like a Woman, BIG eye opener if you're questioning the role of alcohol in your life. A good friend of mine recommended this to me, shout out to Laura! Another good one is Not Drinking Tonight by Amanda White. There are literally heaps more out there, this link has a list of some other popular ones available on Amazon. I checked out some women's sober groups on Instagram just to see what was out there and what people were saying. I began going long stretches between drinks and put parameters on when I could or couldn't. I would check in on how I was feeling during those long stretches and realized I liked it, A LOT. I got better sleep, my mood was better, I was generally better with the boys, things overall felt less heavy, I lost weight, my workouts were better, my recovery between workouts was better...the list goes on.

Christmas Day 2021 I decided I was done, no more for me after that and I haven't had any since. For me, the change has been HUGELY impactful on my life. There are so many benefits, many I already listed above, but also just noticing and appreciating the little things more than I ever did, wanting to spend time alone with my thoughts, even when those thoughts are stressful or unpleasant. I find I can at least sit with them now and work through them.

I try to meditate as often as possible, daily would be ideal but honestly it doesn’t always happen. I also can’t sit quietly well without going over my mental list of to do’s so I find guided meditations work really well for me. You can check some of those out on apps like Calm and Insight Timer. Making it a part of my usual morning routine has really felt like a luxury and helps center me for the day. If I can't get it in at home for whatever reason (you know, screaming toddlers, meowing cats, somebody needs something NOW) then I'll make time to do it in my car after I get to whatever destination I have that morning. I definitely notice a difference when I don't prioritize this habit.

I also found that having a replacement option helps both scratch the itch of the daily habit as well as the social aspect of things. Let's face it, our culture highly encourages and reinforces drinking, and it can be hard to feel like you are fitting in and still able to have fun in a social setting without a drink in your hand. First of all, most people won't notice. If they do, tell them whatever you want about why you're not drinking, that's entirely your own business. For me I like the physical action of having a drink in a nice glass that I can sip on while socializing...but it doesn't have to be alcohol. I often drink seltzer or coffee/ tea instead. I have a few non-alcoholic (N/A) options that I keep on hand for at home but also to take with me to things like dinner parties or other social gatherings, so I have an alternative besides water. Below are some of this things I like and include N/A wines, adaptogens, nootropics, mocktails, and N/A beer.

N/A WINE and MOCKTAILS

N/A wine is tricky and mostly tastes terrible. I love me a good dry wine or nice bubbly so it was hard for me to find something that filled that taste quality requirement. Some of my favorites are Surely dealcoholized wines. They make delicious white, rose, sparking, and red options both by the bottle for dinner parties and sharing, as well as individual single-serving cans if you just want a little something but don't want to open a whole bottle. You can find their stuff either on their website or here on these amazon links for the bottles and cans.

Mocktails you can make at home but if you're looking for a pre-made option Mingle is a good one. They also have larger bottles and smaller individual cans. Since they're mocktails they can be on the sweeter side but are one of the lower sugar options I've found and mix nicely with seltzer or some of the adaptogens I've listed below if you want to dilute them down a bit.

NOOTROPICS and ADAPTOGENS

I love natural products and have found a few tasty things that have all natural ingredients with little to no added sugar. Nootropics, also known as "smart drugs," are substances that affect the metabolism of neuronal cells in the nervous system and can improve cognitive functioning. The company I am partnered with has a drink additive in the nootropic category called AXIO that is packed with vitamins, L-theanine, and other goodness that increases my mental focus, boosts my mood, and doesn't make me jittery. It comes both with and without caffeine in a bunch of yummy flavors. I drink it almost every day.

Adaptogens are plants, roots, and other plant substances that help our bodies manage stress and restore balance after a stressful situation. Apothekary.co has a large selection of options available as well. My current three favorites from there are Chill the F*uck Out!, a red wine replacement called Stop Your Wine-ing, and a white wine replacement called Take the Edge Off tincture. They have a nice recipe and dosing guide as well as tons of other products for things like sleep, hair and skin nutrition, cognitive boost, mental clarity and focus, and gut health to name a few. A company that sells pre-mixed drinks WITH adaptogens that is also in the mocktail category is Curious Elixirs which boasts delicious cocktail mixtures like Negroni Sbagliato, Blood Orange Spritz, Smoked Cherry Chocolate Old Fashioned, and Champagne cocktail to name a few. You can order variety packs or just lots of your favorite and they're delivered right to your door.

N/A BEER

I do like certain beers but it wasn't usually my primary choice AND I have gluten issues so not always a good option for me. IPAs and stouts were always my faves and there's more and more options emerging every day out there as you can see here. One of my go-to's is pretty much anything by Athletic Brewing Company because they have SO MANY different flavors and they all taste REALLY GOOD. My favorites there are the stout and the hazy IPA. The N/A Guiness stout tastes just like real Guiness so I love them as well. Corona just came out with a delicious N/A beer as well so you're all set for summer!

Well, there you have it! If you've been thinking about making this change and want to reach out, please do! I know how important it was for me to have someone to talk to about it when I decided to do it. I hope some of these options are interesting to you, and if you choose to buy any of them, first of all thank you, second, please let me know what you think about them. I'd love to hear your feedback! CHEERS!